don't go holding out on me now

Grief is hearing Death Cab for Cutie and being surprised by tears on the sunniest day of the year.  Grief is hearing Death Cab for Cutie and breaking down in front of yoghurt at Waitrose. Thankfully, everything was bottled up again by the meats.  Grief is crying in the fetal position at yoga. What is it about certain shapes that provoke tears?

I’m listening to Lowell, MA and feeling so sad again, about the loss of childhood, about the loss of innocence. Those were dark times and I never wish to return to them. But it seems that no matter how far I strive, those demons are always there, lurking in the dark. That’s not entirely true, I’ve had a few good years. Sadness like this is new, is to be expected, is fleeting. Hopefully.  I don’t want to let this consume me. I don’t want to be that person that let one tragedy derail their life. I want to rise above this but I’m also so subject to the whims of my emotions. I’m trying to write a simple email but then this song comes on and I feel low low low.  I need to snap out of it.

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Grief is hearing Death Cab for Cutie and being surprised by tears on the sunniest day of the year.

Grief is hearing Death Cab for Cutie and breaking down in front of yoghurt at Waitrose. Thankfully, everything was bottled up again by the meats.

Grief is crying in the fetal position at yoga. What is it about certain shapes that provoke tears?

I’m listening to Lowell, MA and feeling so sad again, about the loss of childhood, about the loss of innocence. Those were dark times and I never wish to return to them. But it seems that no matter how far I strive, those demons are always there, lurking in the dark. That’s not entirely true, I’ve had a few good years. Sadness like this is new, is to be expected, is fleeting. Hopefully.

I don’t want to let this consume me. I don’t want to be that person that let one tragedy derail their life. I want to rise above this but I’m also so subject to the whims of my emotions. I’m trying to write a simple email but then this song comes on and I feel low low low.

I need to snap out of it.

Back to The Serses Diaries